The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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