I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I supernannyed him into submission
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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