Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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