I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
