is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just want to make out with him forever
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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