The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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