there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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