he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
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i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
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We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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