There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
