she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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