I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
