He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
