My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
accomplished twins. life is a go
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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