is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
