How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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