Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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