Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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