Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
