Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
