and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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