Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
