Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I need to calm my uterus...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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