There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize