I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
