well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
