We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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