Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
