Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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