I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
