Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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