Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
