Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
