So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
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She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
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Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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