nut hugger
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We need a shit load of segways right now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
