my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
