Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
