People with herpes should wear stickers.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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