Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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