...so i touched it.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
