I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
