I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
