Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.

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  (770): i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it. http://tfl.nu/8iw9
  Replies (54) Good night (4383) Bad night (429)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?

  (940): View more from Texas

  homeless.

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  (717): gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy? (940): homeless. http://tfl.nu/iz6y
  Replies (17) Good night (4729) Bad night (1014)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.

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  (908): just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep. http://tfl.nu/seq6
  Replies (14) Good night (5335) Bad night (1332)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.

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  (813): We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response. http://tfl.nu/3ka8
  Replies (16) Good night (7525) Bad night (1344)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.

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  (919): I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes. http://tfl.nu/2m3g
  Replies (4) Good night (4224) Bad night (786)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.

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  (410): i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow. http://tfl.nu/v829
  Replies (32) Good night (4649) Bad night (1850)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was literally just a half conscious dildo.

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  (570): I was literally just a half conscious dildo. http://tfl.nu/oo11
  Replies (16) Good night (4394) Bad night (1449)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.

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  (618): When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/ntsr
  Replies (9) Good night (3559) Bad night (1147)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.

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  (414): He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after. http://tfl.nu/s41l
  Replies (8) Good night (3559) Bad night (735)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday

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  (727): I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday http://tfl.nu/mihk
  Replies (3) Good night (2033) Bad night (697)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.

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  (610): Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud. http://tfl.nu/pb1f
  Replies (8) Good night (2398) Bad night (727)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.

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  (970): I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious. http://tfl.nu/wv8w
  Replies (6) Good night (544) Bad night (1388)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.

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  (571): My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have. http://tfl.nu/0vrk
  Replies (3) Good night (1027) Bad night (489)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well

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  (+44): The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well http://tfl.nu/us1u
  Replies (2) Good night (510) Bad night (280)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"

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  (954): direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey" http://tfl.nu/8vb9
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (213)

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