i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
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No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
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You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.