I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
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ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
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she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.