Texts From Last Night

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  (+44): View more from England

  Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.

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  (+44): Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food. http://tfl.nu/05sf
  Replies (20) Good night (3587) Bad night (762)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.

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  (724): If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground. (724): Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday. http://tfl.nu/bc8e
  Replies (140) Good night (3049) Bad night (671)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area

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  (402): New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area http://tfl.nu/w77p
  Replies (24) Good night (654) Bad night (4135)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.

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  (334): I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/qbrz
  Replies (10) Good night (597) Bad night (3849)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog

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  (440): I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog http://tfl.nu/h88l
  Replies (23) Good night (724) Bad night (4091)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.

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  (703): You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her. http://tfl.nu/ivfo
  Replies (11) Good night (5509) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.

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  (519): I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid. http://tfl.nu/7asr
  Replies (12) Good night (4585) Bad night (1645)
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  (315): View more from New York

  why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?

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  (315): why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall? http://tfl.nu/qv4b
  Replies (9) Good night (1197) Bad night (4259)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.

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  (615): You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible. http://tfl.nu/1rrn
  Replies (16) Good night (3418) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.

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  (251): I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time. http://tfl.nu/fcdx
  Replies (13) Good night (4208) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.

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  (304): I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell. http://tfl.nu/ufac
  Replies (17) Good night (1768) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.

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  (315): I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down. http://tfl.nu/7l46
  Replies (5) Good night (1216) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs

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  (918): i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs http://tfl.nu/moe6
  Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.

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  (770): He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't. http://tfl.nu/iy01
  Replies (5) Good night (259) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP

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  (306): you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP http://tfl.nu/0h74
  Replies (0) Good night (404) Bad night (289)

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