Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml