who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
