Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
