Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
