when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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