I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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