Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
