Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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