I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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