ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
