So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
