the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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