grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
