it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
