The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
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I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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